Living Apart Together (LAT) in a somewhat newly minted term for couples who choose to enter long-term relationships while maintaining separate homes. A surprising number of seniors are a part of the trend.
For many, it is a lifestyle convenience. They can keep their home, their daily routine, and their personal space without losing out on a chance at love. For others, it may be a chance to keep a relationship in the perfect honeymoon phase for years and really get a chance to enjoy and cherish the time that they spend with their significant other.
For some women, there may be a more practical reason. Those who have already reared children and taken care of their own aging parents may feel that it is their time to relax and simply enjoy life. They may not ready to take on the responsibility of caring for another person again, or they may choose not to take on additional household responsibilities on a full-time basis.
While research has shown that these types of relationships may not be as solid or long-lasting as a marriage, that has not stopped plenty of couples who have chosen to become LATs.
Luci Dannar, age 90, and her LAT partner, James Pastoret, 94, spoke about their relationship candidly with NBC News:
“He comes over at five every evening and leaves here about 9, and then I have two hours by myself — my private time. We really like our space, our time alone, and we don’t need to be together 24 hours a day.” – Dannar
“I like my independence. When I go home at night after supper with Luci, I’m very happy to be by myself.” – Pastoret
For the two of them, the relationship seems to be just what they need.
No relationship type is one-size-fits-all. At various times in our life, we may have different relationship needs. The important thing is to be willing to work on it as a couple and find the solution that supports those involved.
We can Help! Our local advisors can help your family make a confident decision about senior living.